1. |
how did you sleep?
04:35
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verse:
good morning I say to the picture of you
that is taking up space in my head
I’m facing withdrawal from the memories
that were only fictitious at best
cause I can’t rest at all without reflections and illusions
I try to grasp but are tricks of the air
the light through the blinds is so warm, yet lonely
but somehow I still know that you’re there
chorus:
so how did you sleep last night?
tell me cause I’ve had a few restless nights lately and I
need something more to replace apparitions
cause you’re more than a vision to me
time passes while i'm
feeling bored and restless
i check again but i get no reply
i know it's not your fault that you've been so absent,
but it feels like you don’t even care half the time
chorus:
so how did you sleep last night?
tell me cause I’ve had a few restless nights lately and I
need something more to replace apparitions
cause you’re more than a vision to me
chorus:
so how did you sleep last night?
tell me cause I’ve had a few restless nights lately and I
need something more to replace apparitions
yeah, i need something more, can’t you see my disposition?
outro:
when your motive is nothing but spite and contrition
i hope you'll settle in happily
and find your way back to it all.
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2. |
the elevator
04:04
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we stood side by side in a small elevator
staring at the doors under dim fluorescent light
i turned to see you, you stared forwards
disregarding me in your focused plight
"what floor are you headed to?" i tried and ask
you stood in silence once more
i waited again, looking down at my shoes
and then opened the doors
in front of me stood your family
creating pinholes with their gaze
still you said nothing, nor did you move
but you took my hand, you were afraid.
the people they beckoned, yet you stood still
maybe you were to scared to move
the doors closed again, i started to wonder
what you'd been trying to prove
you still facing forward, i turned and i shook you
"are you even awake??"
i screamed and i yelled, "why don't you like me???"
"what did i do to deserve this pain?"
but still, you did nothing but snicker
i noticed the slight of your hand
you moved it closer to mine
and relocked our fingers again.
for the last time, the doors reopened
this time, the ones behind you
i saw you pick up a suitcase
and promenade into the navy blue.
that's the last i ever saw of you.
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3. |
no one was ever there
02:08
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he visits me in my dreams
when I close my eyes i can almost remember how things used to be
sometimes it’s my only company for a while,
he taunts me in the way that he faintly smiles
his gentle nature surprises me
but when I wake I remember that things have changed
he’s not the same, a false twin flame
the same one that so badly burned me.
he visits me in my dreams almost every night
it’s so strange seeing him like I hoped he’d be
maybe somewhere deep in my mind there’s a piece of hopefulness that one day he could turn out alright
his bitterness still encaptures me
put in a chokehold by nobody
i grip my throat and gasp for air
and yet i see that no one was ever there
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4. |
unconcerned
03:16
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verse:
reading a love letter from her confederate sweetheart in class,
he would’ve survived world war two
saying that she’s his world, but together
they only make the world more blue
are you staring cause you’re jealous of me,
or is there something in you that you’ve buried deep inside?
you strike a match and burn the flag
all to show that you’re adverse to the love that you hide
pre chorus:
and you think that i don’t notice,
well honey, i’ve been in your shoes
and when i say i saw it coming
i mean that, for a year or two
i can see you getting nervous
i see your palms begin to sweat
and everybody else around you says you give just what you get
chorus:
but you don’t give anything but hateful love
you know, i know just who you remind me of
you’re like that man on tv who sounds deranged,
the only thing that we can hope is that you’ll truly change
verse 2:
i hear the children laughing
they’re making fun of what they don’t understand, i assume
but behind all the talking
there seems to be a small fraction of truth
is it so wrong to love him? i just can’t see myself feeling any other way
the thoughts that swirl within his mind are rapidly snuffed out by their slights and decay
pre chorus:
ladies on the left, and gentlemen please to the right
we’ll walk down the aisle for you, before you even gain your sight
but it’s okay to feel, i promise,
you’ll go down any path you choose
but if you don’t go down our lane
then it’s most likely that you’ll lose
chorus:
cause you don’t give anything but hateful love
you know, i know just who you remind me of
you’re just a young teenage menace who won’t go far
at best, all of your brightness is that of a shooting star
bridge:
i wouldn’t be surprised if someday far on down the line
you figure out the truth there all along
forty-six with 2.5 kids
too late to the fix the ones that you wronged
and then you’ll cry to this song
chorus:
you still don’t give anything but hateful love
you know, this is just what happens when push comes to shove
and i’m so sorry you’re aching, i hope your lesson’s learned
i guess it’s what you get for being oh so unconcerned
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5. |
try (for me)
03:42
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is it selfish of me
to miss the you that you were?
back when everything was easy
back before it all hurt
and i know that its unfair to expect everything you used to give me
i’m trying hard to tell myself you’re having a hard time living
and that’s enough, for you
to carry, to get you through
i just hope you make it out alive,
try for me
for me
is it wrong of me to hate it
when you can’t give it all back?
when i’m needing your affections
and your eyes have turned black
but i know it’s unrealistic to expect you to always catch me
but me, i’ll be right there, and if you say i’ll be exactly
what you want, me to be
you know i’ll never leave
i just hope you stay by my side,
try for me
for me
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6. |
in the meadow
01:41
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be still my sweetheart, lay your head to rest
the dark will not keep you, the stars know you best
soon you’ll be living without feeling scared
we’ll lay in the meadow without any cares
and warmed by the sunlight, your heart will thaw too
summer will come back, and you’ll know i love you.
rest now my baby, it’s okay to cry
i’m here if you need me and i’ll dry your eyes
sooner or later we’ll find our way back
before all the sadness, our bags we’ll unpack
we’ll open the windows, the air will be cool
and sleep with the crickets, the world won’t be cruel
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7. |
middle ground
02:26
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verse 1:
voice is shot, stay that way.
i can't hear you, what'd you say?
stop the comments, stop the noise
block it out, regain your poise.
code your words so no one can read them;
jump through the hoop, and do it again.
chorus:
i know what you see.
you shift my words, you think i'm crazy.
you say that you love me,
but if you could you'd change me.
verse 2:
take a hit, do you not see
how you've been affecting me?
what's your purpose? what's your plan?
what's the point of drawing lines in the sand?
sunday coffee grimaces and smiles through your teeth,
and the looks my way that disagree.
chorus:
i know what you mean.
you understand, but don't believe me.
you say that you're just worried,
but what you're trying can't change me.
final chorus:
my fear's at it's peak
i guess that you've won this round of hide and seek
i'm done with my growing pains,
can i be myself without need to explain?
take a minute,
stop,
and show some sympathy.
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8. |
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verse 1:
do you remember the month that we met?
you made a promise you’d never forget
thought it’d be different, you wouldn’t leave me
the stars were in line, but they weren’t meant to be
chorus:
and everyone loves you, but nobody knows
how much you’ve hurt me and how much it shows
watching your praise, you’re the new rising star
sitting and wondering how we got this far
verse 2:
for weeks i wished that i had some excuse
a reason to be bitter and to blame you
i guess i got what i asked for in some twisted way
strangely, i still hope that we’ll be okay
chorus:
now everyone loves you, but nobody knows
how much you’ve hurt me and how much it shows
i’m glad that you’re happy, but it still makes me sick
when i think of a life without you in it
bridge:
for me, there’ll be no more chasing
i can’t take any more aching
and all this time i’ve tried so hard,
just for a cordial greeting from a get well card
is it too much to ask for you to talk to me
in the way that feels natural, like it used to be?
when i look at you, i just see winter frost
your face a reminder of what has been lost
chorus:
cause everyone loves you, but nobody knows
how much you’ve hurt me and how much it shows
i don’t want that much from you, i think that it’s fair
that i just want your time, and i want you to care
outtro:
each day i get closer to cutting the cord
of the necklace i made for this, a single rose quartz
come back when you’re aching and for once you need a friend
i’ll be sitting here waiting, like i always have been
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9. |
you were my moon
05:09
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verse 1:
you were my moon
my tides rose and fell with you
and you’re still in the sky,
but you’ve grown too tired, you
make the ocean waves collapse
you’re what filled in all the gaps
but your gaps need filling too
i’m holding on to what i knew
had that dream with all the knives
symbolizes cutting ties
that’s not what it meant to me
i was told that it’s meant to be
fought your will, the blade in hand
tried to make me understand
but i understood your words
turned them inside out, returned to you
chorus:
they say if you love something then set it free
and my love, i’m trying to let things be
gain you back in pieces just to let you wash away
and soon enough, you’ll forget why you wanted to stay
verse 2:
i was your sun
felt like i could become someone
you loved more than air,
i complained that the branches were bare
didnt want that kind of fruit
pulled your feeling out from the root
shriveled up and died from pavement salt
but you said it’s not my fault
chorus:
they say if you love something then set it free
and my love, i’m trying to let things be
time is moving slower, my hope will be washed away
and soon enough, i’ll forget why it wanted to stay
you’re coming back
you’re coming back, you have to.
(repeat)
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10. |
birthday snow
04:44
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verse 1:
i chose my rings over fingerless gloves
my hands were cold and my feet were numb
you spent your birthday out in the snow
mine was warm, but it was so long ago
i’ve found the warmth in the bitter cold
you make green what was blue and it never gets old
i hate winter, but i like your coat and your style
you never fail to make me smile
chorus:
maybe you were the reason i went through what i did
so i could be there to catch you
instead of feeling vacant
if i could tell my younger self to wait a little longer
i’d say i don’t regret a thing, it only made me stronger
verse 2:
i watch the storm from the laundry room
as snowflakes fall upon the roof
reminds me of a memory
i never had but know will be
i miss being warm like we used to be
running down the sidewalk never felt more free
the dandelions i once blew
have frozen up inside of you
chorus:
maybe you were the reason i went through what i did
so i could be there to catch you
instead of feeling vacant
if i could tell my younger self to wait a little longer
i’d say i don’t regret a thing, it only made me stronger
final chorus:
maybe you were the reason i went through what i did
so i could be there to catch you
instead of feeling vacant
if i could i’d tell my younger self i’d say that life’s imperfect
and though the cold won’t so away, the sunshine makes it worth it.
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11. |
i'm not, anymore
05:20
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verse 1:
you see the world through non perscription lenses
i see the colors that you had projected from me
and i couldn’t see
that it wasn’t you
you never meant to
stay that way forever
sometimes i wonder, what did you expect?
you know that i’d rather you show me the truth
i said that i’d rather see you
than anything else
well, maybe you knew
chorus:
it was, and then it wasn’t, and now it isn’t
it isn’t anymore
it’s over and done and it’s over and done,
no more aching from the same hurt,
how many nights have i drowned here before?
i’ve drowned here before
verse 2:
as i’ve reflected i now come to see
that i’m not the monster that you made me out to be
i know that with me
i always tried my best,
and though i digress,
we made no amends
i’m walking on eggshells, i’m stepping on pins
i’ve said my repentance five times your sins
remembering grins,
familiar reflections,
benign, false perceptions
chorus:
it was, and then it wasn’t, and now it isn’t
it isn’t anymore
it’s over and done and it’s over and done
no more aching from the same hurt,
how many nights have i drowned here before?
i’ve drowned here before
i’ve been here before
i’ll settle the score
i’m not, anymore.
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12. |
trouble (bonus track)
01:17
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ever since we met the world's been upside down
and if you don't stop troubling me you'll drive me out of town
but if you go away
as trouble ought to do
where will i find another soul to tell my trouble to?
then my bed is made of stone
a star has burnt my eye
i'm going down to the willow tree and teach her how to cry
but if you go away
as trouble ought to do
where will I find another soul to tell my trouble to?
they bid me wear my hat
put on a nice new gown
i tossed my bonnet over the roof and i guess it won't come down
but if you go away
as trouble ought to do
where will i find another soul to tell my trouble to?
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serendipity row Baltimore, Maryland
a 19 y/o musician who makes music for caterpillars
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